So I am back at creative writing, and I wouldn’t say I was struggling these last couple of weeks but we have been working on characters, but I already have my characters! So why do I need to invent new ones?

Then I am like, but my bad guy I don’t know who he is yet, and I am still struggling with where do I go with this? What does a terrorist look like? Or could it be a female terrorist, but females aren’t seen in that role in their society, But then it got me thinking about the IRA they were blowing stuff up for other reasons and so I remember being told they would give advance warning of doing this. But then maybe I should forget the terrorist route and go down the drugs route… would that be more plausible? Because why would a terrorist kill a said person, wouldn’t they be more interested in a LARGE impact and not killing one person!? I have been googling terrorism and pulled a varity of web pages off about female terrorists. I wish I had someones brain to pick at.

I did manage to do some writing from a picture out of the avon book of a guy though I was abit lost to start with something sort of happened. But if I work on this am I not getting distracted on the bigger picture.

We also talking about show and tell in class today which had me worried about my whole story in general! John our teacher acted out a good thing which got us all thinking. These past two weeks in class I think they have confused the matter more than relit my fire. Maybe I should of done some more study and then got into my story from class.

Then I keep looking at dictation software, is it worth buying something 2nd hand off ebay to give it ago..?

My ankle is still generally fucked! No work for the rest of the week and I have found that wearing soaks and shoes today has made a big difference. I am really struggling with my daily journal, Yes I have a list of things to be greetful for, but I feel so shity since the “accident” that I can’t be doing with it, as I have had to stop running for 2-3 weeks so there goes that goal! so much for positivity I might climb on the stall or send my child to reach my chocolate again!

It’s all a bit shit really, and all because I came off that ride at the weekend and fucked my foot and ankle!!!

I Won’t Give Up On You

So world,

I decided when ever it was to give up chocolate, and it is more or less killing me 😦 anyone would think it was crack or nicotine. I boxed all my chocolate up, I haven’t been eating my chocolate bar at work. But i’ve ended up having accidental chocolate like today in Tesco I had two after eight mints! But on the good side I won a £10.00 Tesco voucher. So that was good.

I have been doing my daily greatness journal, I don’t know if it helps Here anyone is interested! But one thing I am already failing on is parkrun. I printed my barcode off and everything but it is such a struggle to get out of bed at a weekend. I know it sounds like I am making an excuse but..


img_10831I don’t understand, maybe it is because it is the only day I get a lie in with Andrew? I woke up at 8.40 this morning, failing to set an alarm so I don’t think I would have made it. It is so crap! I just don’t know, if my alarm had gone off would it of been any different?

I was sssssssssssssssooooooooooooooo tired by the end of it last night, but how can I managed my health that makes me SUPER tired sometimes and all the stuff I want to achieve. Without breaking myself further than I am already.


Spent most of the day feeling sick!

Had to get up with the kids, as Andrew was going somewhere in town, so I had to the kids to school, which I then didn’t have to take them so I went to bed.. Then I had to get up take Melanie swimming, then take Melanie for a hair cut, came back to bed, got up had a shower as that would make me feel better! Didn’t have dinner, Alex was sic again, so here I am eating chocolate in bed!

This came today



By the Grace of God…

I’ve got that Katy Perry song in my head…

Yesterday was pretty much a write off, stupid MS I spent most of the day waiting to go back to bed and cuddle, sleep and eat chocolate. You see the problem is I only work Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So when I wake up on a work day and feel shit, I go to work because I know I’ve got the next day off. Well I left at 4pm, spent the day struggling through didn’t bring my wallet to work so no chocolate!!!! I was in a proper mood! I even forgot I was supposed to me lunching with my sister in law! FAIL! Got home had dinner and rushed the kids to bed so I could go to bed! That sounds bad doesn’t it! MS mum failures 101

Then this morning Andrew wouldn’t get out of bed, and didn’t until 8.20 which means shouting at the kids to get up and get dressed and move!?Why should it be me all the time who has to get them up on a day off!? So he was been in some what of a grump all day! I think he get seasonal adjustment disorder but then I look at him and this if you just got off your arse and did something… I’ve got bloody MS which I am pretty sure is worse and if I have to do shit then…I’ve not said this to him as I think it would cause a bigger huff! A bit like me asking him how we are going to pay for all these Christmas presents.. I hate Christmas!

On the writing front which is why we are all here! I am thinking about entering a sort of competition to get mentoring from Angela Clarke, I just wish I knew what to write for my statement AND my 1000 words piece! I was thinking of contacting my creative writing tutor and asking him for help. But Andrew can’t see how he could help! Alot of help he is (Andrew) I don’t even know where to start!

Maybe I should just keep plodding on with what I am writing, to which I have no idea where it is going… So yeah pretty much definitely need help 😛